


Is it In You?

by Wunderkind4006



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Betrayal, Drama, F/M, Friendship/Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 19:58:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3500990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wunderkind4006/pseuds/Wunderkind4006
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki returns to Asgard in chains, disgraced and disowned, appearing to have little remorse for his actions. Sigyn, a woman he claimed to cherish above all others, has questions? Did he really care for her, or was she just part of his games? Her life and honor is now ruined by her affiliation to the traitor, but can she really see him as a traitor, can she really forsake him? Or is it all just an illusion.. Loki/OC, Loki/Sign </p>
<p>Set at the beginning of Thor: The Dark World, but with flashbacks to the events of Thor and some Avenger hints. Sigyn is not comic book Sigyn but more of an OC. Please read...it is my first attempt at a Marvel universe fic. Thank you :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Children will be Children

"I see it everyday, you hide the Truth behind your Eyes"

Kodaline - Honest

 

Prologue: Children will be Children

Children will be children, isn't that what they say? They chuckle and roll their eyes, and provide that very simple excuse for inexcusable intolerance. Cruelty, it is not something we are born with, but something we learn. We watch the strong defy the weak; the great overshadow the small, and the intellectual scar the ignorant. From childhood it is played out before us, our roles are pre-destined by what we are told we are. You are the hero, the one that fights for the good of all…but do you really fight for all or just for those you deem worthy? You are the strong warrior, able to beat down all aggressors and fear no pain…but what if the aggressor acted out of fear or confusion of you, did they then deserve your wrath? You are the wise one, gifted to know what is logical and best for all…but yet you ignore the illogical babblings of someone beneath you because they are not intelligent enough to understand, how are you so sure?

Maybe good is not completely incorruptible by evil? Maybe in every hero, or warrior, or wise counsellor there is a little darkness. Born from the simple lies we are told as children, by our doting parents or loved ones. It cannot be helped, those who love us see only the good in us – it is the nature of love. But then, if this is so, then maybe all that is evil is not beyond the ability to love? Maybe in the darkest of souls there is a light? Born from the simple truth that the first and only real thing we experience in life is innocence. We may not be born cruel, but we are all born innocent and capable of love.

xXx

"Sigyn…Sigyn…Ugly little Sigyn!"

The children hollered gleefully at the sprawled out form of the young child. Her wide grey eyes swam with bewildered tears, as she hurried to fix the hems of her velvet dress so that it covered her bruised shins. They had kicked her there, just a game - a horrible torturous game to prove little Sigyn was not strong like her Asgardian peers. She had not been able to escape their clutches and thus received the punishment of three kicks to each shin, if she had of been strong enough she would have been able to fight them off…but she was not.

"Go away," She sobbed pitifully, as she attempted to pick up her books. "I do not like this game, I don't want to play."

"It is just a game," The boisterous Sif mocked with an uncaring giggle. "You are no fun at all Sigyn, all you do is read boring books!" And with that the young Sif knocked the gathered books from Sigyn's hands, little leaves of paper swirling about the marbled hallways.

"Aw leave her be Sif, she is going to cry again…Sigyn the baby," A fair haired boy with a roguish smile, gently chastised the thoughtless girl who merely shrugged and skipped away.

"I am not a baby," Sigyn defiantly reminded the boy, her little upturned nose rising haughtily in the air as she rose to her feet.

"Yes you are," The boy sniggered, "You are crying like a baby…boohoo."

Enraged by the insinuation, Sigyn threw herself at the boy who stood a head and shoulders above her and twice her breadth. She didn't care that he was the son of Odin, he was rude and loud, and he could never just be quiet. With all her strength she shoved the boy, and surprisingly she made him topple back. With a shocked, but delighted grin she stood back and observed her handiwork, giving a curt nod. But her victory was short lived, Odin's son glared defiantly back, his pride obviously stung and in one sharp shove, Sigyn found herself flat on her back on the stone floor again. With a sneer the boy lifted her carefully stacked books and threw them about the hallways, callously ripping the pages from some of the older volumes in petty revenge.

Sigyn cried and begged him not to be so crass, for these were not her books, but ones borrowed from the great archives and libraries of Asgard. Yet he did not stop, and the teasing resumed in full force. Sigyn was sure she was in for an afternoon of bitter teasing, but thankfully a raised voice of an unhappy adult was heard. The clack of heels on polished floors, and the rustle of fine silk alerted the children to cease their torment, much to Sigyn's relief.

"It is Mother!" The boy gasped aloud and signalled for his band of little bandits to retreat. The look in his eyes told Sigyn that he truly feared his mother, that surely Frigga would be greatly disappointed in knowing of his actions here. Quick as a flash the children scampered off, but before he could join them he looked pleadingly to Sigyn; "It was only a game Sigyn, we meant no harm, do not tell Mother, she will not allow me to go hunting with father if you do!"

"Why should I, maybe you shouldn't go hunting!" Sigyn growled, but the tears in her eyes made her much less threatening than she felt she was.

"I am sorry," The boy gave her a heartfelt look, "I didn't mean to be so mean Sigyn; I didn't realize you were so hurt. Please, I promise I will not push you again…please Sigyn."

"Thor, is that you?"

Frigga's voice sounded in the distance, all clear and commanding, and the boy paled significantly. Thor mouthed another "Please," and yet another "Sorry." Now Sigyn wanted to protest, she wanted to have Thor punished but experience had taught her that life could be made a lot more difficult if she chose to get him in trouble. So, choosing a quiet life, she nodded and watched in frustration as he scampered off without a second thought. Would he ever learn the consequences to his reckless actions?

Sighing quietly, the child gathered up some of her books, and hauled herself to her feet to face the approaching Queen of Asgard. If asked, she would just say she fell and a great wind blew the pages down the hallway. It was an unbelievable excuse but she was just a child, and an imaginative one at that. Her little shoulders hunched when the clacking sounded a few feet behind her, and expecting the worse she swivelled to face the elder Asgardian with an apologetic expression.

"I'm so-"

A shrill, childlike giggle was what stopped Sigyn in articulating any further apology. For as she looked up she found the form of the adult woman flitter and disintegrate before her eyes, leaving behind a dark haired youngster, with intelligent eyes and mischievous grin. The child stood a few feet behind the now evaporated projection of what had appeared like the Queen of Asgard, and he looked absolutely delighted with himself.

"Did you see Thor's face?" The boy continued to snicker. "He always falls for that."

"Loki? H-how…but I thought?" Sigyn began, softening at the relief of finding Loki before her and not a parent or another of Sif's buddies.

"Magic," The young Loki grinned mysteriously before lopping past Sigyn, and helpfully picking up some of the loose papers. "I wouldn't worry about them coming back; Thor has been sorely looking forward to this hunting trip. He won't bother you again, he wouldn't risk it. He is stupid, but not that stupid."

"Th-thank you," Sigyn replied shyly as she took the paper from Loki's outstretched hand.

"No problem," Loki shrugged nonchalantly, he understood what it was like to be on the receiving end of Thor's "games" and frankly it irked him greatly. However, where Loki had learned to use his own little tricks and illusions to pay his brother back, he was well aware others were not so fortunate. Also he felt Sigyn was just a tad too weak and naive to be picked on, it seemed unfair, like a bull bating a helpless lamb.

"If I had of known it was just you, I would have told him I was going to tell on him! Make him cry for a change," Sigyn suppressed a wicked grin, and then felt her eyes pop at the mere thought, she really should not be plotting the downfall of Thor with his younger brother. "Oh, I didn't…I didn't mean that, please don't tell him I said that!"

"Why would I tell him?" Loki questioned, raising a bemused eyebrow as he continued to pick up the disarray books and clippings. "I would quite like to see him cry too, sometimes he deserves it you know…just don't tell him I said that?"

"I won't," Sigyn giggled at the wide eyed look of urgency in the other child's face. The answering smirk of approval she received made her blush, and she was quite unsure why?

"These are not your books," Loki made the comment like a question, but it sounded very much like a statement, and her grin vanished and she nodded guilty. "It is not right to steal Sigyn; you must not leave the libraries with so many books."

"I was on my way to return them," She piped up, "I only borrowed them, there were so many I liked I couldn't choose just one."

"You have read them all?" Loki asked in slight shock, he hadn't expected that. He had never met anyone that was an avid reader such as himself, and one so interested in books of histories and science. Maybe Sigyn was not so pathetic after all.

"Yes," was all she managed to answer with, as she fidgeted with a lock of her rich auburn hair; "I really was going to return them."

"I believe you," Loki chuckled, "But you cannot return them in this condition."

Sigyn deflated at the very true statement, and considered the long hours she was going to have to put in to restoring these books to their former glory. Loki regarded the girl with a rare compassion, it was not her fault and the crime was unjust, she shouldn't be punished;

"Well I can help," He offered gallantly, "I've read most of these, it won't take me long to figure out what pages are missing."

"Really, you would do that?" Sigyn's eyes practically boggled out of her head in gratitude, when Loki nodded sympathetically.

"Sure, it is the least I could do to make up for my brother's idiocy," Loki grinned, pleased with the adoring look the young girl was gracing him with. After all, there was nothing Loki loved more than to be adored and admired for being the better brother.


	2. 1: Joker of Hearts

"I still remember the day we met, I was hanging on your every word!"

Kodaline - Honest

1\. Joker of Hearts

She strained her neck until she felt the muscles burn uncomfortably; she pushed her fists into the sides and backs of the bustling crowds until they gave way for her. She ignored the disdainful looks she received, or the odd spit or foul curse uttered under the breath of some stranger she had never met. It was ignorance on their part, she was not a bad person, she was not a traitor, she was not…Loki.

Loki?

Traitor?

The words traitor and Loki did not make sense as she sounded them out on her bowstring lips. She had not clapped eyes on Loki in two years, but that did not mean that she did not hold onto his memory tightly, like a child clutching a treasured blanket. Not one moment had passed that she did not think of him, did not remember him, did not mourn him, and for what reason? He had been dead, he had fallen, destroyed in the biforst, or at least this is what she had been told. Although the source of that well woven story had come from someone she now deemed as a traitor, a witch, and no friend of hers.

Sigyn now watched on, in a mixture of complete delirium and indescribable sadness, as Loki was brought before Odin wrapped in chains. He was not what he was, he appeared harsher with hollow eyes – eyes that no longer danced with mischief but burned with a slow, unquenchable, hate. He seemed frail in some ways, like if you nicked him he would shatter like glass. But he also seemed dangerous, aggressive, like a coiled up snake ready to strike and sink his poisonous words into the heart of an unsuspecting soul. Would she be the fool she was to trust him again? It would be all too easy to allow him to speak poisoned filled lies to her, and all too easy for her to let herself believe them.

No! She would not allow her heart to rule her head again, had Loki not taught her that? He had been shrewd in his short rule, matters of compassion and sympathy clouded sensible judgement, he had her chastised for that. He had chastised her then sweetly mocked her for her inability to understand such behaviours. He had called her a "little lamb," oh so sweet and naïve to the manipulative ways of the world. She had not realized then, that he meant she was also naïve to his ways too. She wasn't naïve, she just chose to believe Loki was not beyond reason, and if asked she would still stand by that belief. She believed the best of him, and understood, but necessarily agreed with his reasoning. She had long been his friend, and for a short period his lover. Oh he could deny it all he wished, but there was no power that would convince her that he didn't care about her. Long years of friendship that stretched through childhood, and the years of youthful exuberance was testament to that…but would he deny it now? Had he changed too much?

Sigyn only had one real burning question, one that had haunted her since she discovered that her Loki lived and went on his deluded power trip. Why did he leave her behind? Surely he would have known how she would have been scorned for her involvement in the fateful events of his short rule of Asgard. Surely he would have concluded that she would be brandished with the same name of "traitor" like he was. She had defended him, helped him, and part of her still understood and agreed with his plan. He only wanted to be the worthy son of Odin, the worthy Prince and ruler that she believed he was. Yes, Loki's deeds were risky and the hurt great, but Odin was a hard ruler and Thor a brutish reckless warrior, both equally flawed with their fair share of guilty actions. Was it not in the nature of men to desire power? Was it not natural for Loki to want to prove himself? Alas, she could defend him all she wished, but the fact remained, he never returned for her and that was a greater hurt than her fallen status and name.

By the time Sigyn had squirmed her way into view of Loki, it was too late. Odin had ruled, and she watched him be dragged into his life of imprisonment. She thought the judgment unfair, cruel even. He had done wrong, but did one lapse of judgement deserve such punishment? Considering all the wars that Thor had waged, all the unnecessary hurt he had caused…did Loki really deserve this? After all one could assume Loki acted out of hurt, out of pain and confusion; his father and lied to him. He was not of Asgard, he was just another piece of a game of thrones and rulers, and how exactly did Odin expect him to act? And now he was being cast aside? Telling him his fate was to die as a baby, after years of telling him his fate was to rule, Sigyn could barely comprehend such cruelty. She would not verbalize such thoughts, for such admittance would be treason, and she would not be as fortunate to receive life imprisonment. No, death would be her punishment, and she was only lucky she had not evoked such wrath from Odin in the aftermath Loki had caused. Her only saving grace was that she had confessed what she knew to Odin, after being cajoled into it by Sif, and betraying her Loki. Oh how she wished in this very moment she had kept her tongue behind her teeth, maybe things could have been different if she had.

"Loki?" Sigyn heard her breathy voice before she felt she had given it permission to speak.

The guards slowed, but only because Loki did. It felt like they wished to see if he was truly capable of remorse, and not that they were allowing him a moment of recognition. Their friendship was no secret, their scandalous courtship was well gossiped, how he reacted to her would tell them all they needed to know about his treacherous personality.

"Sigyn," Loki said her name plainly and with no emotion, like how someone would great an acquaintance in passing. Yet recognition flared in the depth of those cold eyes, something akin to memory, and the slightest twitch of his hand gave a clue that he was not at all unruffled by her presence. His lips pulled downwards and he tilted his head to the side appraisingly, his next statement colder than splintering ice; "I see some traitors fare better than others, I half expected to hear of your beheading? How disappointing."

"Loki!" She breathed in sharply, her eyes becoming hard and angry, glinting like grey flame. He had no right to hate her so, she had not been the cause of his pain. After all this time this was all he could say to her? He was lashing out, he always lashed out bitterly, even now.

"There will be no fraternizing with the prisoner," The gruff voice of Thor broke the intense glare that weaved between the pair. "You would do well to remember your place Sigyn, I cannot keep you in my father's good graces if you speak out of turn."

"Yes, Sigyn, be a good little lamb and do as your told," Loki mocked, a jeering smirk playing across his lips. "Run along now, don't want to ruin your wholesome name."

"Loki, enough, do you wish to be gagged again?" Thor threatened, as he pushed past a reeling Sigyn.

"It is not me that deserves to be gagged," Loki sniped in reply, and cast a sidelong glance at the pretty red head. The pretty little thing that he had once counted as friend, one that he would have let the guard slip just a little bit for, and one he had not hid his plans from. Even now he regretted his words, and he never regretted anything, but she wilted visibly, the hurt plastered all over face like he had wounded her with a dagger. It infuriated him at how much she made him feel guilty. She did not deserve his remorse, none of them did!

Yet there she was, reminding him of what he had lost, and the damage he had caused. If he had just left her alone, if he had not manipulated her into falling for him, he would not have to swallow the guilt of her now. If he was being honest with himself, he could have spared her and if he had really cared for her would he not have let her go? Let her marry Theoric, instead of intervening, desiring what he could not have and taking it because he could. It was a hard pill to swallow, but even now he felt loathed to regret any of it.

IXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXIXI

Asgard – three years prior.

"Loki! Loki no…Loki give me it back!" Sigyn warned breathlessly as she stomped about the royal chambers of Odin and Frigga's younger son, her midnight blue dress hoisted up as she tried to run in ridiculous heels.

"No…shan't," Loki replied with a haughty and disinterested look on his sharp, almost feline features. He had spent the majority of the past hour teasing, or hiding from the rather frazzled Sigyn. Using various form of trickery to make the pretty little red head stumble about in dismay. It had been funny for the longest time, she was just so easy wound up, but now he was growing bored.

"Loki, we are not children anymore and that was a very expensive gift! Now, PLEASE GIVE ME MY NECKLACE BACK!" Sigyn huffed loudly and flounced down on the nearest couch. As she did, she registered that one of her friend's most favourite daggers was carelessly discarded there. With a wicked grin, she allowed her fingers to slink across the overstuffed chair until she had it clasped tightly in her hands. With a snicker she hurtled to the nearest window and leaned out it, precariously dangling the beloved dagger; "Give me it back, or I drop it!"

"Sigyn, you'll fall," Loki sang uncaringly back to his friend.

"No I won't, but your dagger will and isn't the hilt made of glass…such a shame to see it shattered," She teased in her breathy voice, and leaned further out the window. Grinning as she perceived the long drop.

"You would not dare," Loki sprang up behind Sigyn, with his eyebrows raised high, for he did not think her capable of such threats.

"Oh I will if you don't cut this out, and return what is mine," She quipped and dangled the blade teasingly, placing her knee of the ledge to lean even further into the night air.

"Really? Does it really mean that much to you?" Loki sighed as he outstretched the gaudy looking trinket. All thick gold rope chain and obnoxious red rubies, clearly something an idiot of man picked out. Nothing thoughtful or interesting about it; "It is an ugly thing…don't you think?"

"It is a gift Loki, a gift from my husband to be…and I should be wearing it, right now, at the party thrown in celebration of our forthcoming union," Sigyn eloquently reminded her now scowling friend. "You are keeping me late; do you want tongues to wag?"

"But you don't deny it, do you?" Loki persisted and waved the bauble in front of her; "It is ugly, and not at all what suits you. You hate it don't you?"

"Loki, that isn't the point," Sigyn pursed her lips, and sniffed in irritation. They had been through this; Theoric was a good match for her. She was hand maiden to the Queen and deserved of the hand of great warrior, it was an offer she could not refuse. She had listened to Loki's just concerns over the brutish and selfish nature of warriors, and how she was too sensitive and intelligent for their ways. She had also dispelled his fears that they would no longer be friends, for she would have wifely duties to attend to, and no time for reading and intellectual talk, she had told him not to be ridiculous. She would always have time for him; she was getting married not banished.

"Aha, but you are still not denying it," Loki continued to goad, a mischievous grin painted across his face as he strode up to the auburn haired beauty. She had indeed blossomed into a beautiful woman, intelligent, warm, loyal, and feminine. All desirable traits, only Loki would happily admit to desiring more than just her virtuous traits. He coveted her, and part of him loathed the idea of seeing her belong to any other but him.

"Loki, we've been through this," Sigyn sighed aloud in exasperation; she could not in good faith refuse an honourable man her hand. Not while there was no other coming forward to claim it, not even the one she wanted to. Though he made a good show of it at this present moment, trying to trick her into admitting that her love for him went beyond just friendship…oh he was so manipulative.

"I know we have, but I just want to hear you admit it," Loki chuckled, still unrelenting in his cause; "I want you to admit that you do not love him, that the thought of joining with him repulses you, and that you would much prefer another."

"Like who?" Sigyn scowled, and sorely considered dropping the blasted dagger.

"Admit it," Loki commanded teasingly, and leaned in to stare intently at his friend with glittering eyes.

"Just give me the necklace!" Sigyn hissed, anger and frustration bubbling up in her chest. He was only playing with her; she knew he was toying with her affections, with no intent in returning them. She couldn't stand it, and so in her rashness she reached for the necklace, and in the same moment her knee slipped on the ledge. Sigyn let out a brief cry of panic, as she slipped from the window, the tulle of her dress making it impossible for her to gain back her balance.

"Sigyn!" Loki shrieked in alarm, as he reflexively bounced forward, catching her arm in time before she toppled right out the window. He braced himself on the ledge and held her arm tightly in his, as she kicked and scrambled vainly trying to find a footing on the rock.

"Loki!" She gasped in alarm, her hand tightening around his wrist. Her placid and soft grey eyes filling with pure terror; "Loki, don't let me go."

"I am not going to let you go!" Loki assured in a voice that betrayed his panic. "Sigyn, look at me, just look at me, you will not fall." She met his resolute stare with her own, and seen in his eyes a flash of deep concern, of fear for her life, something she had not witnessed in him before. "Sigyn drop my dagger, drop my dagger and take my other hand. I'll pull you up."

She stared briefly at the blade she still held in her hand, and felt a pang of remorse for her idiocy, her actions had caused this.

"Sigyn let it go! I cannot pull you up with only one hand…give me your other hand…now!"

She responded to his voice instinctually, freeing the blade from her fist and using all her might to reach for his other hand. He caught it easily, and with a growl of determination he pulled her over the ledge and into his arms. The two of them collapsing to the ground with an almighty clatter, with Loki still holding the trembling Sigyn tightly to his chest, as she clutched handfuls of his shirt in her hands.

"Sigyn, Sigyn are you well?" He urgently asked, as he sat them both upright, and cradled her awkwardly in his lap.

"I'm f-f-fine," She managed to mumble out, her cheeks flushed pink with a mixture of fear and embarrassment. "Oh, Loki I'm sorry I…and your dagger. I will find a way to have it replaced," She vowed in her trembling voice, as she attempted to squirm away from him, but he held her fast.

"I dropped your necklace," Loki admitted freely, when she met his worried gaze. "I dropped it out of my hand when I asked you to reach, so it seems we have both given up something tonight."

"Loki," Sigyn bit her lip and shook her head, part of her beginning to believe the altercation was staged, she would not put it past him. Something about the way he answered, something about the dagger being within her reach - he was never so careless - made her uneasy; "Loki what are you doing?"

"If you really cared for Theoric, you would not be here with me," He mused aloud, and gestured to their new predicament; "You would not have trusted me to save you, but you did. Now do not deny it Sigyn, I know who you want and it is not a warrior without any table manners."

"Of course I do not care for him, he is an ugly brute with no sense of humour," Sigyn heard herself admit without thought and she clapped her hand across her mouth in shock.

"At last, she admits the truth and chooses to be selfish," Loki smirked victoriously, before smoothly leaning in and brushing her flamed cheek with his thumb; "But who does Sigyn admit to loving, if not the brute? Who does she want, but is too shy to admit their name for fear of mockery?"

"You," Sigyn openly admitted the long held secret, and felt her face grow hotter still. "But you never show any interest, you never speak of love or romance? I didn't know?"

"Oh but I want you, fair Sigyn," Loki rasped, and she shivered in response. She could hear the manipulation in his words, the reluctance to admit to any more than just the desire to possess.

She did not know if she could trust him to love her like she deserved? Would he even marry her, could he commit to caring for her and only her? Sigyn doubted much, she doubted his ability to appear vulnerable or to even let his guard down, but she did not doubt that he cared; she had heard it in his voice when she fell. If she refused Theoric in favour of Loki, there would be no promise of a marriage, he was to calculating for that, he would not give her the control of knowing his heart.

The question was very simple. Did all these doubts truly bother her, or was she willing to sacrifice it all on the one heart that was not easily displayed? But that one heart, when shown, had the potential to show more vulnerability and more willing love, than any other in Asgard.

So Sigyn made her choice, and in the moment she kissed Loki. Not passionately or in any showy form, that would come later. She gave him one chaste kiss, and deserted her party and her husband to be without second thought. Her decision was final, and even if she had of known what the years would have brought, it was unlikely she would have taken back her pledge. She had loyally given her heart to Loki, but whether he would truly give her his? Well, that was another matter entirely.


End file.
